REUBENICKENOBICKLE: Brandon Schlong Self-Portrait: Age 34

Brandon Schlong Facts

- Recorded an all-snare-drum version of "Appetite For Destruction" using 5 snare-drums...it sucked...
- "I could be wrong, but I don't think so," is a very 'Brandon Schlong' thing to say.
- Has an obsession with objects doing wheelies
- Scripted a still-unproduced, screenplay titled "The Queen Of Splatter"
- "It's not a horror movie," Brandon Schlong chuckled. "It's something you probably don't really want to know about."
- Was awarded generous numbers of Yellow and Red 4-H County Fair Ribbons as a child
- Enjoys walking around holding a clip-board
- Authored A Baked Bean Cook-Book
- Invented a sex-act termed: "The Carolina Moon-Roof"
- Started a used underwear business called: "Redd Skidmarxx"
- Wrote a 900 line poem titled: "Fields of Wisteria"...it sucked