Brandon Schlong Self-Portrait: Age 34

Brandon Schlong Self-Portrait: Age 34

4/8/2015

You Dumb, Fucking Optimist!!!

This is a reminder to myself that things will fucking get better, regardless of how shitty I feel on any given day.

Not really a lot of positive vibes coming off of this little cartoon...but, I don't fucking care...

Am I right, folks?

Artist: Brandon Schlong

Where: Madison, WI

Completed: July 5, 2014

Brandon Schlong Self-Portrait: Age 9

Artist: Brandon Schlong

Where: Madison, WI

When: February 14, 2014

Time Period Of Rendering: 1990

Book Of Love

What could this guy possibly be SCREAMING at this lady? What was Brandon Schlong thinking before he wrote those lyrics?

Fun Fact: 45% of the text in this cartoon was written as a result of Brandon Schlong remembering the lyrics wrong.

What was the fucking song I saw this guy screaming into that ladies face? Was it...what? The Banner? Was it Christmas Songs? "The Great White Cross?" Nope...

And, I certainly didn't want to make this a holiday piece. That's for damn, sure.

Besides, I can only produce winter-holiday artwork when I am fully wrapped  in a bear-skin rug, naked in front of a roaring fireplace, out of my mind, high on crystal meth.

Artist: Brandon Schlong
When: June 2014
Where: Madison, WI

The Monotones - Book Of Love (1958)

I Warned You Darling, But You Fucking Did It Anyway!!!

Artist: Brandon Schlong

Where: Madison, WI

When: May/June

The Fluffing Room

I tell everybody, very pompously, using my Yacht Club Accent:

"It's a very crude assembly of turn-abouts with saggy trousers 

at a rather up-scale pissin' and shittin' house."

Artist: Brandon Schlong

Where: Madison, WI

When: May 2014

Brandon Schlong Self-Portrait: Age 11

Artist: Brandon Schlong

Where: Madison, WI

When: February 12, 2014

Time Period Of Rendering: 1992