Brandon Schlong Bio-Tune: Cirith Ungol - I'm Alive (1980)

Cirith Ungol - I'm Alive (1980)

Album: Frost and Fire

Lyrics:

I shiver when I remember

The things that I have seen

I know the light, I know the Night

I have walked with things unseen

I have been a king invincible

I've been the poorest of the poor

I've pulled the mighty from their thrones

And laughed at Death's own door

'Cause I'm alive, I'm alive

I'm alive, I'm alive

I roamed the world in search of life

Death followed in my wake

I searched for truth, I want the truth

And learned more than I could take

I've walked the roads of mystery

And it's aged me much too soon

I've paied the piper and I've paied him well

But he still calls the tune

I'm alive [4x]

I shiver when I remember

The shadow of the past

The lonely ways, the lonely days

When every breath might be my last

I lost my heart, I lost my soul

By every hand betrayed

But I've still got strength, I've still got life

And that will never change

'Cause I'm alive, I'm alive

I'm alive, I'm alive

I'm alive [5x]

#Metallica - Nothing Else Matters (1991) Video

Metallica - Nothing Else Matters

(1991)

Official Video

I love this video from start to finish

Phenomenal footage, I must say

My Absolute Favorite Part 2:42-2:45

It's just James Hetfield being James Fucking Hetfield

Doing his James Hetfield shenanigans 

His guitar isn't even plugged in

He's just standing outside of a building

Being James Fucking Hetfield

That's it...

And it kicks ass

It's definitely not always "metal" to do something like that

But he pulled it off
Plus, let's not forget
We do not ever forget
Hetfield absolutely killing the guitar solo
That pretty much blew our naive little minds

"I thought Kirk Hammett was the lead guitar player! James is playing the solo!
I just seen it!
He's usually just the rhythm guitar player, but he's playing the solo in the video!"
We, as little boys all shrieked hysterically.
More to come later

\,,/

Stand-Up Comedy Spotlight #7: Dane Cook

Dane Cook -Retaliation

Disc 1 - Full

"Want"

Released: July 26, 2005

Dane Cook - Retaliation

Disc 2 - Full

"Need"

Released: July 26, 2005

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To All Truthers on YouTube

This is literally one of the funniest things I have ever heard

From the first two seconds I knew this was going to be a gold mine

Please enjoy this guy's Christian-based rant

You're welcome

\,,/

Stand-Up Comedy Spotlight #6: Pablo Francisco

Bits and Pieces

(2004)

Full Stand-Up Show

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Nintendo 8-Bit Castlevania 1-3 Full Soundtracks

Castlevania - (1987 8-Bit NES) Full Soundtrack

Castlevania II: Simon's Quest (1988 8-Bit NES) Full Soundtrack Extended

Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse (1990 8-Bit NES) Full Soundtrack

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Hilarious Christian Anti-Heavy Metal Propaganda Film: Parts 1-16

Part 1 of 16

Part 2 of 16

Part 3 of 16

Part 4 of 16

Part 5 of 16

Part 6 of 16

Part 7 of 16

Part 8 of 16

Part 9 of 16

Part 10 of 16

Part 11 of 16

Part 12 of 16

Part 13 of 16

Part 14 of 16

Part 15 of 16

Part 16 of 16

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My Next Trick Is Called...

Artist: Brandon Schlong

Where: Madison, WI

When: Completed July 11, 2014

Conspiracy Shit #6: Oklahoma City Bombing

Terror From Within

1995 Documentary About Oklahoma City Bombing

89 Minutes

A Noble Lie
The Bombing Of Oklahoma City
Documentary
121 Minutes

Oklahoma City Bombing
Forerunner to 9/11
Documentary
108 Minutes

Heavy Metal Spotlight #3: Skid Row

Artist: Skid Row

Song: I Remember You

Album: Skid Row 

When: 1989

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Artist: Skid Row

Song: 18 And Life

Album: Skid Row

When: 1989

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Artist: Skid Row

Song: Monkey Business

Album: Slave To The Grind

When: 1991

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Artist: Skid Row

Song: Fire In The Hole (Demo)

Album: 40 Seasons - The Best Of Skid Row

When: 1991

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Heavy Metal Spotlight #2 - Steel Panther

Artist: Steel Panther

Album: Feel The Steel 

Released: October 6, 2009

Track Listing:

1) Death To All But Metal

2) Asian Hooker

3) Community Property

4) Eyes Of A Panther

5) Fat Girl (Thar She Blows)

6) Eatin' Ain't Cheatin'

7) Party All Day (Fuck All Night)

8) Turn Out The Lights

9) Stripper Girl

10) The Shocker

11) Girl From Oklahoma

12) Hell's On Fire

13) Big Boobs (Non-Album Track)

\,,/

I Warned You Darling, But You Fucking Did It Anyway!!! (2.0 w/Sound-Track)

Artist: Brandon Schlong

Where: Madison, WI

When: May/June 2014

"I Warned You Darling, But You Fucking Did It Anyway!!!"

Sound-Track:

Death From Above 1979

Do It (Live)

Instructions:

Set your bass, treble, and overall volume at 100%.

Start the song

Scroll up a little bit

Click to enlarge the artwork

Stare at the eyes of the man in this cartoon

Do not worry about learning the words to the song
I never learned them and neither should you

Just stare
Over and over you must play the song
When the song finishes
Re-start the tune, click and enlarge the cartoon again
Let your eyes glaze over and cross
Your eye-balls will get blurry and that is good for you :)
Zoom, Scan, Scroll, Pan, Focus

Become hypnotized

Obtain Knowledge

\,,/

Baseball Glove Man

Artist: Brandon Schlong

Where: Madison, WI

When: Completed July 2, 2014

Counting Calories

Artist: Brandon Schlong

Where: Madison, Wisconsin

When: Completed July 18, 2014

The Misfits X-Posed Interviews Parts 1-12

The Misfits X-Posed

Interviews Part 1

The Misfits X-Posed

Interviews Part 2

The Misfits X-Posed

Interviews Part 3

The Misfits X-Posed

Interviews Part 4

The Misfits X-Posed

Interviews Part 5

The Misfits X-Posed

Interviews Part 6

The Misfits X-Posed

Interviews Part 7

The Misfits X-Posed

Interviews Part 8

The Misfits X-Posed

Interviews Part 9

The Misfits X-Posed

Interviews Part 10

The Misfits X-Posed

Interviews Part 11

The Misfits X-Posed

Interviews Part 12

\,,/

Danzig Home Videos

Danzig I - Home Video (1990)

Def American Records

Featuring Rare Band Footage, Interviews and Videos

1) Am I Demon

2) Twist Of Cain

3) She Rides

4) Mother

\,,/

Danzig II: Lucifuge - Home Video (1991)

Def American Recordings 

Featuring Rare Band Footage, Interviews and Videos

1) Devil's Plaything

2) Killer Wolf

3)  I'm The One

4) Her Black Wings

\,,/

You Dumb, Fucking Optimist!!!

This is a reminder to myself that things will fucking get better, regardless of how shitty I feel on any given day.

Not really a lot of positive vibes coming off of this little cartoon...but, I don't fucking care...

Am I right, folks?

Artist: Brandon Schlong

Where: Madison, WI

Completed: July 5, 2014

Brandon Schlong Self-Portrait: Age 9

Artist: Brandon Schlong

Where: Madison, WI

When: February 14, 2014

Time Period Of Rendering: 1990

The Fluffing Room

I tell everybody, very pompously, using my Yacht Club Accent:

"It's a very crude assembly of turn-abouts with saggy trousers 

at a rather up-scale pissin' and shittin' house."

Artist: Brandon Schlong

Where: Madison, WI

When: May 2014

Unkempt Hairy Mary

Unkempt Hairy Mary, strolling along giggling, devil-may-care

Ignorant of the bulb, festering in her underwear

Organic, nutrient-rich, dense and fertile

Removing her panties will make your stomach curdle

Her never-groomed muffin, explodes with coarse, black hair

Smelling-salts will revive you, after sniffing her bush on a dare

This bewhiskered land is private, not flirty

A pestilent mane that moistens when dirty